You look happy--did you see a kitty or find a sticker on the ground or something?

Ok Chicago—at this point it may not be possible for you to be any cuter. Seriously, I don’t understand why anyone would go to Disney World if they lived in Chicago, because to kids who grew up here it probably looks rather glum—a sad and hollow specter of what a really charming and adorable town should be. Because today I realized that Chicago doesn’t leave the cute in its near suburbs or in-town neighborhoods—Chicago brings the cute to the business district.

I’m currently freaking out from cuteness as a result of the Christkindlmarket, and month-long annual German marketplace set up at the Daley Plaza in Chicago’s downtown Loop. I went there today during my lunch break with a couple of friends from work. It is primarily German-themed (and I’m talking real Germans manning and womanning the booths), although I saw booths from Peru, Ukraine, and Poland as well. The Daley Plaza is outside the Daley Center which houses, among other things, the Cook County Circuit Court. For the month before Christmas, it is transformed into a freaking German village, complete with indoor attractions including the most authentic German candy store I have ever seen and a BAR (of course they constructed an indoor bar in the plaza outside the building housing the Cook County Circuit Court. This is Chicago! There might be a bar inside the actual Daley Center for all I know). There are no fewer than three candy shops, two stands that seem to sell nothing but intensely elaborate beer steins, and more Christmas ornaments than you can shake a stick at. And I’m talking about the ludicrously colorful yet terrifyingly delicate kind my Grandma got from my Great-Grandma and gave to my Mom, not some southern Christmas Store crapola.



There is also a life-size crèche and although I am not entirely comfortable with the appropriateness of a life-size crèche outside the Cook County Circuit Court building, to be quite frank the unmitigated adorableness of everything else kind of made up for it (that’s how they gettcha, isn’t it? Seriously: all you insane southern county judges, if you had been smart you would have surrounded those old ten commandment slabs with a couple of litters of French bulldog puppies NO ONE WOULD HAVE NOTICED your silly reactionary tactics.)

In any case, I will be back to Christkindlmarket ASAP and I will buy lots of candy, eat some sweet cheese fritters and potato pancakes and possibly buy one of the many pickle ornaments
for my Christmas tree. Happy Holiday season!!!!





ALSO there is a Holiday El Train...that carries Santa around with the commuters.

You've come to tell me somethin' you say I oughtta know

We have had quite the weekend! Friday and Saturday were both awesome, in very different ways, but both in ways that were very CHICAGO......

Friday night Disc0 and I had my (rescheduled, due to an unfortunate influx of work last weekend) romantic birthday night on the town...we stayed at the Peninsula hotel (oh so fancy, even though we were a few levels down from the suite last graced by Brangelina) and dined at Avenues, stuffing ourselves on Chef Graham Elliot Bowle's 10 course palate menu. There was only one dish that both of us agreed was "just good." Everything else was absolutely amazing and lived up to all the hype: the wine, the service, the view, and the FOOD. It was also very unpretentious, which was most welcome. The Peninsula also gave us a lovely bottle of champagne since it was my birthday, which aided in my falling dead asleep in a well-fed stupor.






Saturday was the 40th birthday celebration of one of Disc0's good friends from his days working in advertising. The birthday boy is a musician, so his band had a reunion show and he also hosted sets by two Chicago-based country bands. His band was super cute, playing lots of angsty songs he wrote 15 years ago, and they're all really good musicians. Can I just tell you that I am possibly more into country music now than I was living all around it in Atlanta? At the party, I was exposed to the band that I think will fill the empty space in my life where Atlanta bands Hot August Knights, Kingsized, and Amy Pike and the Last Cold Beer used to be: Fulton County Line. That is, I will follow them around and go to their shows and learn their set list and be a weekend groupie again. I'm pretty sure the lead singer is a bona fide cowboy, and if not he sure dresses the part from his boots to his beard to his hat to his full length duster coat. And he does a pretty kickass shimmy while he croons and yodels (you heard me!) They have a standup bass, a pedal steel guitar, and electric banjo and I love them.

Now we're spending the day doing some prep work for our first time hosting Thanksgiving! We are sooo excited to see our families! Yay!

Andersonville: Revisited

I know I've talked about Andersonville before, which is just a northbound hop, skip, and a busride from my hood. I love it because it evokes my Swedish and lesbian heritages, etcetera. But I've only really been there during festivals, of which Andersonville host many. So disc0 and I decided to take a little vacay and spend the afternoon there yesterday.

It was delightful.

We rediscovered the feminist bookstore Women & Children First, where I became immediately ashamed of the fact that I had just the day before ordered Alison Bechdel's memoir from Amazon.com. Am a moron?! Not only is there a great feminist bookstore not so far from me, but they have a website from which you can buy any book in print!! I will not let this happen again. The sales clerk was very kind when I had to admit the indiscretion (because I was buying another Alison Bechdel graphic novel--the one in which the bookstore at the center of the story line has to close because of online and big box bookstores!!--and she recommended the memoir).
Then we had delicious coffee at Sweet Occassions
, an adorable bakery/sandwich shop/coffee shop. It didn't even make me mad (very much) that they already had Christmas decorations up (wait until after Thanksgiving, dudes! WOW!) because they were so friendly and the coffee was so good. I'm more of an espresso drink gal when I have coffee at all, but when I ordered a latte they told me they were not allowed to make espresso drinks! Because there is a Starbucks in the same set of buildings, and so their lease says no espresso drinks! As evil corporations go, Starbucks generally gets pass from me, and in this case the Starbucks was there first...but damn, let the Mom n' Pops make their lattes! Sheesh. But as I said, their non-espresso coffee was fantastic, and the same can not be said for Starbucks.

Then this morning we went back and had a Viking Breakfast (well disc0 did, and I had Swedish pancakes with lingonberries). It was delicious and presh--you know I love a place where the sign says Valkommen or Vilkommen and they serve limpa bread...

It's just Carol

After some time last night at Trader Todd's and the L&L (yay, double yay) I finally made it to Carol's Pub!!! It's one of my new favorite places.

It's neighborhood-y, but people come from all over the city to hear the awesome, old-school country band play until 5:00 am. It has a reputation (among those who I now know as morons) for being one of those places where you only go because you don't know any better and nothing good comes of it. But I have to tell you that I have a little bit of a cold, so I was pretty much stone sober and had a fantastic time. Eclectic crowd (biggest range of ages and style of dress I've ever seen in a bar in Chicaog, and that is saying something), seasoned and loyal staff, and great music played live...really, how can that be bad? This was one of the few times since moving here that I've felt a little nostalgic about the culture in the southern regions of the country. Carol's reminds me a lot of the Northside Tavern, where my Boodles used to be the Front Door Woman. Old country instead of blues, but a very similar atmosphere. Also, at times there were women slow-dancing with each other on the floor at Carol's, which you don't see as much in the ATL, and endeared me even more to the place. I will become a regular if I can...

QUICKFIRE CHALLENGE

Disc0 and I had a wonderful time in Boston this weekend. We met a baby we've heard about for months and hung out with my AWESOME SISTER and her whole Big Rock Candy crew.

We got in really late and going to work wasn't all that much fun as a result. Then this evening, disc0 had to go to a talk by one of our old Profs from law school, and I had to go to the grocery store. Well wouldn't you know it, I was plum cheered up by the fact that they were filming Top Chef at my local Whole Foods!!!



There they were, the new class, running around politely, yelling politely to their teammates, and getting lots of friendly service from the Whole Foods Family. I just tried to play it cool, until I finally broke down to the super sweet gal bagging my groceries and was all "Is Padma Lakshmi here right now because if she is I might flip my stuff a little bit?! She wasn't, but that's OK. I didn't need some embarrassing fangirl experience.
As it is, I might be featured as background fodder on an episode of Top Chef, in full frizzy bang, Ugg-wearing, muffin-topped form. I didn't know they would be filming one of the few reality shows everyone can get behind, so I didn't really put on my face, or my jeans that fit. And that...is OK.

In conclusion, it was really, really cool. And inspired me to whip up a rather delicious mushroom soup when I got home. I'm assuming Top Chef will be filming all over my neighborhood from now on, because it is the coolest.

Hey! If you were a hot dog....would you eat yourself? I know I would

Cubs win!

The Cubs just clinched the National League Central Division--I'm told this used to be called the Pennant. In any case, there are 5 helicopters over our house and a thousand people in the street a couple blocks away. Walking home from dinner (from the South) disc0 and I thought there might be some kind of crazed fugitive in our neighborhood, until we noticed the Sports Authority ad board that read "Congratulations Cubs on Win!!!"

Maybe we'll get to see some World Series action on our doorstep...

oh boy

I didn't watch the Dem. debates, even though they were at Dartmouth. Bad me.

I am relieved that Mychal Bell was released on bond and will be dealt with in juvenile court like most juveniles who get into fights in school. And all it took was a national media spotlight and thousands of brave and caring people marching in the streets...yep, that's all it takes to get justice for young black men in some parts of this country. Oh, I'm sorry--the chance for justice.

In terms of Chicago, the weather is absolutely perfect right now. low 50s, high 70s. And it's almost October! Who knew?! Fall in Chicago is as fantastic as summer!

And on a totally different note, I have to introduce you to http://lolsecretz.blogspot.com/.

I don't read post-secret but the concept is that people, well, post their secrets on the internet. Anonymously. I like the cat version better. Don't tell me LOLcats were over before they started, because I don't care. They are cats and they make me LOL.

Oy

Pardon Poor Larry Craig (NY Times). I would LOL if it wasn't all so depressingly true. So instead, it's more of a grave, raspy, mirthless chuckle. Bigots.

On a Chicago note, disc0 and I were walking to dinner two nights ago when a car full of (what we only hoped and assumed was) a sober driver and her 4 inebriated lady passengers, who rolled down the window to ask disc0 and I if we "want(ed) some mozzarella sticks." Completely without guile. We declined, and they drove off bemused that someone would refuse, even politely, such a delicious offer. Most bemused was the front-seat passenger, whose mouth was still full of some of said cheese. Friendly town, you guys--friendly mother-effin town.

Also, Uncommon Ground has a new fall menu. Pumpkin ravioli with hazelnuts and blue cheese? I barely rolled home after that one.

Awww

Becky, one of my biggest inspirations and closest friends, gave me a blog award! You can get awards for blogs??! That's pretty awesome. I guess it helps to know someone on the nominating committee. Beck is one of my favorite people in Atlanta, in the US, and heck, in the whole world.

FFS

So the only member of the Jena Six who was convicted, and whose conviction was thrown out on Friday...is still behind bars, because neither the judge nor the DA showed up for his bail hearing. Because not only was it magically not on DA's calendars...but they haven't been keeping up with local news, national news (or perhaps even their own racist ass conversations all weekend... I mean what?)

Double Entendres

Well, disc0 and I have started work, so updates may be a little more sparse. Also winter is coming, which means we won't be able to go "outside" for a couple of months. But that shouldn't really start until November or December. In the meantime, we had a great dinner tonight with friends at the Schoolyard Tavern a few blocks away; $5 entrees on Wednesdays, including my ginormous black bean burger. AND A SKILLET COOKIE. My goodness, but I love Chicago. They will fry and skillet anything edible and make it better.

Also last week, we say Gayco's new show, I-hole! It was fabulous, maybe the best Gayco show I've seen. They have a really tight cast. We saw their final preview show, but there were still very few bugs in the system. I think we'll probably go see the for-real show at some point during its run since we liked it so much!

Fancy Pants

So it turns out chicago can be super fancy as well as super fun, convenient, and friendly. You just have to leave our neighborhood. Disc0's mom is in town, and last night and today were full of glam.

Last night disc0's mom really wanted to go somewhere with delicious desserts, so we did a little research and headed to Marche. It's part of the KDK family of restaurants, which are made of fance (my noun form of fancy). We had an amazing late-ish dinner, actually just ordering appetizers instead of entrees (which were huge and delicious, and the waitstaff was very pleasantly unsnooty about it) and then had fantastic desserts (sorbet; banana bread pudding; praline pineapple cake--YUM. )

Then today we went ahead and had afternoon tea at the Drake Hotel, oh yes we did. I'm pretty sure when they said "nectar of the gods" they meant Devonshire cream. With strawberry jam. On scones. I did this with my own Mom last summer, and it was just as gilded as I remembered; the Palm Court and ESPECIALLY the Powder Room made me feel very Great Gatsby. Quite the luxurious afternoon.

So tonight we made organic deviled eggs, salad, and broiled potato chips from our farm share stuff. Simple but luxurious in a different way...

Squeezing all we can out of this summer...

September is still summer in Chicago. Who knew?!

Yesterday, disc0 and I realized that we need to get out in the beautiful weather (it was in the 70's all day) so we got on the bus and headed to the miniature golf course in Lincoln Park at the Diversey Driving Range. It is a shady little course, and very difficult, seemingly geared more towards actual golfers than people like me (there are no clowns, windmills, giraffes, etc.) It was a nice relaxing way to soak up the beautiful afternoon, even though I was like 20 above par. We decided to walk along the lake front, and even checked out the Belmont Harbor Dog Beach, where we watched the puppies frolic in the lake for a while.

Then last night we had a great dinner at Radhuni
and headed to IO to give their musical improv show another chance. And I won't say anything else about that. Luckily, Baby Wants Candy is still around...

Today we decided to check out the Brookfield Zoo. Now I must admit that I am very partial to the Lincoln Park Zoo, which is (a)free (b) walking distance and (c) in a park-like environment, with seemingly happy animals. Brookfield didn't have the first two going for it, but it did have some really impressive exhibits and habitats--the monkey and ape habitat was particularly awesome, as it is HUGE and feels very interactive (no cages, just barriers, so some of the monkeys can climb over your heads). The drive was not bad since it was a weekend, and although it was packed b/c of Labor Day and actually a bit hot, we had a really nice time. I would still recommend the Lincoln Park Zoo first, but Brookfield is definitely the best institutional zoo I've ever seen. And we got to see a dolphin show!!!!

*politics*

This is usually my fun blog, but sometimes there are stories that I think really need disseminatin'. Please read these.

Racists in Clarkston, GA don't want adolescent refugees to feel at home. We're talking about the rejection of people who are legal immigrants, war refugees, and children.

Teens are railroaded after standing up to appallingly racist conditions in their high school and hometown. After a fall semester of threats and violence against black students, 6 black kids are charged with 2nd degree attempted murder and conspiracy (one has already been convicted) after a fight in their high school hallway. The victim of their "attempted murder" was well enough to go out to a social event that night. ***ETA*** ABB's commentary, and links

That's What She Said

This week my Mom is in town, and we had quite the day yesterday experiencing much of what Chicago has to offer.

We went down to the Navy Pier; my Mom had never been and neither had I. It was garish and cute, and they have delicious snow cones. Then we took a little boat tour of the lake and appreciated Chicago's stellar skyline.


We had dinner at the amazing Terragusto, and by pacing ourselves enjoyed delicious food without the uncomfortable bloating we went through the first time. Turns out the menu changes at least every month, presumably to keep in line with the foods that are in season. So don't get too attached to any particular dishes, but also understand that everything frickin' thing on the menu is fantastic.

After dinner, we went home to feed the cat, then headed a couple of blocks down the street to the Theater Building Chicago to check out opening night of the all-improv Theater Momentum Showcase II. We were at another show this weekend when disc0 ran into an old friend from his days studying improv; turns out she's in Fugue, one of the pieces being showcased. I was so impressed by each piece (Fugue was first, then Lost in Translation, and finally '97 Bulldogs). The showcase certainly contained the best acted improv I've seen, and much of it was hilarious too. It was less absurdist, more thoughtful, and much more character-based than what I'm used to, and everyone worked together wonderfully. (I love the absurdist stuff, but this was really interesting and fun and a very nice change). We all really enjoyed it. Disc0 and I noticed that by the time the third piece came along, we were almost burnt out on watching improv (at $10--after the $2 discount for knowing someone in the cast-- for a solid two hours of performance, this was the best deal in the city in terms of minutes of improv per dollar) but they still kept our interest and made us laugh, which is a pretty high compliment. I look forward to seeing this showcase again soon.

Flash Flood, Schmash Schmood

My Dad is in town, and tonight we went on a little trek to try to find food. Sadly, it seems that Orange (despite a semi-misleading voicemail recording) is no longer serving dinner. Which is terrible, because their dinners might have been even better than their brunch. We walked to Cooper's, another exciting choice--but the insane weather from yesterday caused them to lose power and close today (get well soon, Cooper's! We love you!)

So we were getting really hungry and decided that we were in the mood for Indian food, because we happened to be standing in front of Radhuni Indian Kitchen
It was a lucky choice, and now we have a wonderful neighborhood Indian joint to brag on. The naan and roti were perfect, the samosas light and delicious, and the chicken tikkia masala was some of the best and most tender I've ever had. I was a little wary of the place because it always looked empty when I walked by, and because we had the bad taste (ha ha) to try a different Indian restaurant in our neighborhood first and the experience was ... unfortunate. Certainly not blog-worthy. So I was afraid this neighborhood was an Indian food-free zone. Phew--I was wrong.

What the French Toast?!

So being in Greece and eating all local food, and being in Europe in general where they are talking about climate change all the time (not arguing about whether it exists, mind you, but discussing ways to actually slow it down. I picked up a number of women's magazines, like I do when I'm on vacay, and in each of them the majority of articles mentioned carbon emissions, the human footprint, and ways to reduce yours. I don't read cosmo at home, but I kind of don't think it does that since there are letters to the editor in actual newspapers calling global warming junk science. The rant ends here.)

Anyway, the gist is that disc0 and I have ramped up our eco-consciousness around the house. That means less shopping (this includes clothes shopping; *cry*) and more looking at labels of the stuff we do buy. I put this into pretty good practice at NEW WHOLE FOODS IN OUR NEIGHBORHOOD. That place is effing gorgeous. Literally every employee in the store says hello and how are you when you walk by. and I have never felt such low drag on a shopping cart. It's part of the new Center on Halsted, a somewhat historic LGBT community center which recently opened just up the road a piece from our place. And Home Grown Wisconsin pick-up is tonight, which means I am going to make home-made Baba Ganouj for the first time.

But despite all this health and earth conciousness, you know I am still a Chicagoan at heart. So of course the first thing I did when left to my own devices was order a D'agostino's pizza at 6:00pm last night. I've been grazing off it ever since. We will try to make Edwardo's, the all-natural joint, more of a staple, but last night I needed the sugary sweet sauce of D'ags and I GOT IT.

My parents paid 30,000 leptons to send me here, and I expect an education

Yes, kids: that subject line is a little shout out to all the Libel Show fans. Keep the dream alive.

Anyhoo, I feel that I should talk about Greece a little bit even though, as a I mentioned before, it is not technically in Chicago or the Midwest at all. Therefore, I'll try to keep it mostly to bullet points. Convenient, because basically I think in bullet points.

I loved about Greece:

+ The food: so most of what we ate and drank in Greece was local. Feta cheese, which I didn't even think I LIKED, was amazing on salads and in cheese pies. The most delicious cucumbers of all time. The green PEPPERS were good (another thing I'm not a big fan of state-side). The tomatoes looked and sounded delicious, but even in Greece I wouldn't go down that road (I do not like them in a car, I do not like them near or far, etcetera). If fish is frozen rather than fresh, the restaurants are REQUIRED to note it on the menu. The food was fresh and good with very few exceptions. The yogurt is about a million times better than anything I've had in the US. Don't even get me started on the baklava.

+The wine: Also all local. Apparently they don't put sulfites in their wine. All I know is it was inexpensive, yummy, and I could drink a shiz-ton of it without getting a headache. Yay!

+The religious parades: Extremely short and to the point. They don't prissy-fizz around with a bunch of oversized balloons
or little kids who passed their bike safety class or floats sponsored by radio stations and paid for by beer companies. They get in, their military band plays some serious music, they burn some frankincense, hoist the icon, and get out. We appreciated this at the Feast of the Assumption on Paros. Very beautiful and cool.

+The dogs: there are stray (or just extremely outdoors) dogs all over Greece. The best one is named Air Bud, which appellation was administered after some mighty wine had flowed. But the thing about Air Bud is that we made friends with him one day on Santorini, and later that night following the wine,
we ran into him and he walked us all the way home (usually leading the way, then checking to make sure we were with him). This may not sound like a big deal, but from Fira (the major city on our side of Santorini where we met A.B.) and Firostefani (the location of our hotel) is basically 150,000,072 stairs up a mountain. So he was in it for the long haul. He became best friends with one of our group (Mambles). We gave him a lot of cheese as a token of gratitude when he delivered us safely to our door. This is not a picture of Air Bud, but of another good guy we saw around. There are also donkeys on Santorini (it's great).

+The beauty: The islands really are stunningly beautiful. The sunsets, the churches, the beaches, the cobblestone streets, even the monstrous hills--amazing views. That place is lousy with views.




+The history stuff": The Acropolis is quite a sight, even though we were very disappointed that the Acropolis museum was closed. The archaeological museum was really interesting, though. My favorite part was how much the early marble Cycladic sculpture reminded me of early African sculpture.

+Energy conservation: in most hotels, you had to stick your room key in a little slot when you entered in order to turn on the electricity. Smart.

+The Ellinon Thea Hotel in Santorini was absolutely fantastic.

What I didn't love about Greece:

-the toilet paper issue: you aren't supposed to flush your toilet paper AT ALL. There are teeny tiny trash cans provided for it instead. Sometimes, the same trash can you are also supposed to open up to discard, for example, your dental floss and q-tips. The toilets are normal euro toilets, but no paper allowed, according to the signs on every loo. I am not sorry to say that I think it's grody. I don't particularly see the environmental benefit of poopy (excuse my french) paper all up in landfills, nor do I understand why a modern plumbing system would be built that can't handle paper. And no, I never saw a bidet. And no--NONE OF the guide books mentioned this!

-Money: The ATMs distribute almost exclusively 50 Euro notes, and almost no shopkeeper wanted to take anything bigger than a five. We always felt like we were extremely rude when offering to pay with anything other than coins, and it's upsetting to feel rude for a reason that seems so mystifying.

-Lines/Queues: are not part of society. It's every man, woman, child, and little old person for herself and throwing 'bows doesn't seem to be out of the question.

-it's really hot: but I knew that going in.

All in all it was a wonderful trip, SO good to see friends we had been missing and get closer to new friends. The complaints were mostly dumb American culture shock (except for the toilet paper thing, and for that I will not apologize). Back to regularly scheduled Chicago, soon...

up and away

we are off to Greece for our post-bar holiday...since we'll be in Greece and not Chicago, we probably won't be blogging but you never know...there is aLOT of fried cheese (or saganaki) there so we may feel at home enough for a couple of updates ;)

Improv Roast

This was an event so unique it warrants my first ever blog post. It was basically an unintentional clash between two sides of the entertainment industry; the talented and unrecognized vs. the marginally talented, corporate-controlled, and obscenely lucky.

The Armando works like this (much simplified): one performer starts with a monologue and a group of improvisers take ideas from the monologue and turn them into a string of scenes. At some point, "Armando", (the monologist) breaks in, delivers another monologue, and the string of scenes starts again. Normally, Armando is one of the talented group of improvisors, and the monlogues, although primarily meant to give ideas to the other performers, are just as impressive and hilarious as the scene performances.

Unfortunately for "Armando" tonight, every one of his monologues centered around his life as an American Idol. He was telling stories of how he just went to the audition on a lark, and a few months later, he now has a nationwide tour, an album coming out, and sponsorship deals with Coke and Ford, among others. All the while in front of 8 or so of the most talented improvisors in the country, each who have to put YEARS into their craft to get a tiny chance at a even a small fraction of the fame that American Idols stumble into every month. (or however often the show is on.) And a crowd of fans/students who hoped to follow in their footsteps. A storm was brewing...

Predictably, when the improvisors got their turn after the monologues, it was a comedic bloodbath. Initially, we felt sorry for Armando, since he clearly had no idea (and didn't seem to understand) what he had gotten into. But he dug his own grave repeatedly by (1) claiming he had improv and comedy performance experience, and (2) claiming he was still "keeping it real" while telling stories about the crazy times and success he's had as part of the most soulless corporate "entertainment" franchise in history.

Some highlights include:
1.) A rambling story of his peformance history being in an acapella group, beatboxing, and being in an "improv jazz ensemble." NB: Apparently he does not play any instruments--it was a mystery what he contributed to this ensemble. He made it repeatedly clear that these were his "real" interests, and he's just doing American Idol "to have fun." I certainly don't begrudge him his success, but his incessant need to have us believe he's not "into the whole American Idol thing" while simultaneously explaning all the massive corporate sponsorship deals kind of dropped his credibility through the floor.

Related Unsubtle Improv Scene: "Hey big boy...I'll do whatever you want... I'm normally not into prostitution, that's not my thing, but seriously...Anything. You. Want."

2.) We learn that although he totally has improv experience, character comedy is really his 2nd love after singing and beatboxing. In fact, he's created a character for the American Idol tour called "Bob Boberson", in which he ostensibly plays a redneck security guard (I assume still wearing a trendy sideways pageboy hat), and greets fans, "in character." NB: You know he's "Bob Boberson" and not American Idol #22234AKSU because his voice is an octave lower. Watch for "Bob" in your town! Also, he's played a number of other characters for the numerous Ford and Coke commercials, in which, apparently they dress up American Idol contestants in funny costumes. Watch for them on your TV!

Related Unsubtle Improv Scene: "Why, everyone, I cannot dine with you, for I am not a patron at this restaurant, but an ACTOR, playing a patron at this restaurant! I was tricking you this whole time, thanks to my ACTING!"

3.) He and his buddies love to make comedy raps. In fact, they're online. They've written a comedy rap about Chuck Norris. And a comedy rap about Snakes on a Plane. And a comedy rap about Harry Potter. (As you can imagine, this is when the crowd started to turn. It is yet another testament to the unfailing politiness of Midwesterners that everyone just threw up a little to themselves instead of hurling rotted vegetable mattah and whipping up some tar and feathers.)

Related Wholly Unsubtle Improv Scene: "Hey Kid. F**** YOU!"

(This was amazing. The story about the comedy raps was given directly after the intermission, and there was one player who had missed the first act. As soon as Armando finished, this one player calmly strode on stage, sat down, and started the first scene of the second act with this line, her first in the entire show. I'd like to think she went on stage, mind completely blank except for this one thought that had been boiling in her head the during the Idol's entire monologue, and made it into her grand entrance. Naturally, she and her scene partner then picked up and turned it into a great scene, but for one moment, she caught the mood of the entire audience.)

4.) When asked about his influences, he started out listing Prince and Michael Jackson. Fair enough. But, at this point, in his last monologue, he couldn't leave well enough alone, and wanted us to remember that he was every bit the comedian as well as a pop sensation. So he went on to list his comedic influences as well: "Robin Williams, Jim Carrey, Jackie Gleason...the greats." (NB--I would venture to guess that there is nothing you could do to anger a true comedian more these days than tell him that Robin Williams is one of the all-time greats. This comment elicited some audibe gasps of horror from the crowd. Again, I can't overestimate what a spectacular disaster this was.)

Related Unsubtle Improv Scene: "Robin Williams" coming onstage, declaring he was here to steal everyone's bits, and then repeating the best jokes from earlier in the show.

This all probably makes it seem that it was a tremendously uncomfortable evening, but it was absolutely riveting and one of the funniest shows I've seen. The majority of the show was not dedicating to skewering this poor kid, and the performers did thank him profusely for coming and played along with some of his more ridiculous ideas. They roasted him but sent him on his way with a pat on a back. In all, it just seemed like he was a completely clueless kid who had no idea how much he kept putting his foot into his mouth--but he can cry all the way to the bank.

However, it certainly created a singularity of purpose that I've never seen from a show with this many people. The improvisors were the absolute cream of the crop in Chicago (possibly because the show was being filmed). In the midst of putting their usual excellent performance, they delivered an outstanding comedy review torching everything wrong with the corporate-fueled entertainment industry, that had probably screwed over each of them repeatedly. All at the expense of one of the industry's poster children that the Fox network had (presumably) unwittingly sent to the slaughter.